Tag Archives: loss

Loss, Wilderness and Hope

There are moments in grief that can overwhelm us, where it seems that everything else moves out of focus, except for perhaps one thing. For me one the focus is one person or to be precise the lack of their presence.

The impact of this moment is not so much the length of its duration, but the power it has over you, to make simple things harder. Basic things like choosing what to eat or drink, or whether or not to reply to all the messages. Weariness is your companion yet sleeping for any decent length without waking up in between, seems impossible.

As you navigate the world in the bubble, of the moment people going about their business, seemingly oblivious that things are not quite right, colour is slightly desaturated, regular objects seem slightly out of focus.

How are people not panicking or looking bewilderedly at each other, is not quite clear!! Truth is, you realise, it is only you that is inhabiting this space. They do not share at this moment this parallel universe in space and time. They pass through it untouched and oblivious. For them, there are no visual clues. There are no flags at half-mast, no headlines in newspapers or breaking news on tv.

We watched her being taken away for the final time. We watched them load and unload her coffin, we heard tributes, and prayers we sang her favourite songs, we remembered her. We saw her take her last curtain call in the plain coloured walls of the crematorium. The blue velvet separated us from her, as eternity now does.

In what way will we meet again I am not sure, there is a concrete finality at this moment, and the beginnings of a journey into the wilderness.

The wilderness can be scary, it can be a place where you can rest, can refresh, can heal. The unhurried wilderness can be what is needed, though not always wanted. In this wild place, you can find others who too have journeyed into the wilderness and are making their way, charting their course.

In this emotional universe, you won’t pass out, or grow hungry, those things are taken care off. For our job is to remember, to mourn, to find our way back to gratitude and emotionally breath again, as we journey through the door of acceptance into the light of new beginnings.

Previous post in the theme of grief can be found at: https://godlifechurch.wordpress.com/2020/01/09/traveling-the-valley-of-shadows/

1 Step Towards a Healthier You

There is nothing quite like that first waft of chocolate hitting the nostrils when you open the Easter egg box. Each of us has our own rituals, I’m sure.  I like to take all of my eggs and break them up in a tub so that for the days to come I have a lucky dip of chocolate delights.

Let me explain the step we need to take to become healthier Whilst eating your easter egg. Easter, perhaps more than any other point in the year, offers us the opportunity for a fresh start, to take hold of our health in a new way.
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Election 2015: Will the Church Please Stand Up.

The band played loudly, and victoriously, the preacher inspired us, built us up, ready to go out and serve the Lord where ever we might find ourselves. There was an air of optimism and hopefulness in the crowd of worshippers, that nothing was impossible for God.

Except I didn’t connect with the outpouring of the exuberant optimism, I didn’t share the smiles on their faces, or hands held aloft in worship. It wasn’t that I didn’t sense a of the move of the spirit, as everyone else was.

It’s just the spirit was telling me something else. That for me my journey would be a rougher road. Rather than a sense of optimism, I felt I was entering into a season of struggle, instead of feeling hopeful and full of faith, I wondered if my faith was strong enough to overcome.

I was struck by the assumption from the band that everybody would be feeling uplifted and exuberant, I longed to join in, instead fell silent. Seeking God in the midst of the cacophony of beautiful music, seeking God for the road ahead, for the unseen difficulty and struggle. I didn’t know what it meant, or if I had misunderstood what the Lord saying.

It seems to me and within this country there are those, who will be exuberantly rejoicing at the Conservatives being re-elected, and also those for whom such news is perhaps as bad as it gets. There is a need for sensitivity in recognising our neighbour may feel very differently to ourselves.

But also as I sat in that auditorium filled with worship of the living God, there is a need to be reminded, that this living God, understands the human condition, the nature of joy, as well as the long road of suffering. For Gods son, knows these things, experienced these things, and in him we try to trust, even if the road ahead, is smooth or rough.

As brothers and sisters in Christ we are part of the kingdom of God, the kingdom that does not sit idly by. The kingdom that liberates, brings hope, restoration, and resurrection. We are Gods children, and may we see through his eyes, the world around, full of possibility, and aching brokenness, of both a sense of hopefulness in a manifesto and dread at what it might mean for the most vulnerable in society.

We each are children of the living God regardless of our political persuasion, and members of the kingdom of God, that causes us to look out of our box, or worldview, and walk with our neighbour, the destitute, the super rich, the famous, the sinner, and the saint, not that we might be glorified, but that God who sees the beginning and end might be glorified.

Furthermore that people might come to know a different political structure, the structure of the kingdom of God, that outlasts, outlives, and saves completely in every way. And that the values of such a kingdom might underpin who we are, how we live out our personal preferences, desires, ambitions and response to the UK General Election.

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