Outing Myself

I don’t know if I was born this way, or if it was the environment. Either way people have looked at me as different. Others have perceived as less somehow, there was a word for what I am, but when I was a kid it wasn’t I widely used.

The badge I wear, is not one I revel in or openly address. In the church, I have not always found acceptance, instead sadly the opposite has at times been true. I know God loves me, but for some reason, he has allowed me to be this way and wants me to serve him all the same!

My name is Andy and  I am dyslexic, the written word is  somewhat a challenge to me, I find it almost laughable that, despite a significant weakness I feel called to the written word, I would love to be an author some day. It is well documented that the dyslexic brain is wired differently apparently and there is nothing I can do, but live with it.

Interestingly we also say that the homosexual brain, is wired differently just as I am with dyslexia, yet my brain chemistry will not lead be to be dammed by others or God, or excluded from other places and churches.

My brain chemistry won’t lead me to be ridiculed, bullied, abused. My brain chemistry won’t mean I struggle with identity and theological opposing arguments, that tear my sense of self to shreds. None of those things will be my experience. Of course though some would say it’s the act of homosexuality not the homosexual that people have issue with.

To that I offer an illustration. I and we don’t have two brains, just one. What i mean is that when I write a sentence my non-dyslexic brain doesn’t assert itself, because its not there! In the action of writing  I can’t always write in perfect sentences with grammar and correct spelling, unless of course the computer helps me, and sometimes it even struggles with what I am trying to articulate. In those moments, I use google search and my dictation software. Putting it simply it is impossible for me to be dyslexic and not act dyslexic. How then can we ask our homosexual kin to change their ‘wiring,’ if that was even possible.

I believe God is bigger than all of this, that his grace is sufficient and his love brings justice, not reproach. Not for the few chosen ones who love him, but for all people that love him. I struggle with what Scripture says, and can’t unpick the cultural, moral bias, and human fallibility from what God is saying in and through scripture. It just isn’t all that clear to me.

However one thing is clear, the world is watching how we treat on another in Gods name, and on this issue to name one, what the world too often sees is shameful. It doesn’t come close to how jesus defines the christian, that definition being, ” They shall be known by their love for on another.” (John 13:35)

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